Can't quite say why I stopped eating animals

I don’t remember the tipping point. I adored animals as a child; my first word was my grandma's dog's name, Cha-Cha. But the death of animals was all around me. I spent the early part of my life not far from a meat-packing plant. My grandma worked there for a time. The smell of death wafted through the neighborhood, and on her. It's an unforgettable stench.

My father was a hunter. It wasn't unusual to come home from school and find deer hanging from our garage rafters, dripping blood all over the cold cement floor. My dad shot squirrels, birds, fish, frogs, creatures I can't even remember. We ate them all. (Forced.) He even shot our pets in the backyard when it was time to put them down. But we didn’t eat them. Though, I don’t know why. What’s the difference really? I was a reluctant meat eater as a young girl. I had my suspicions.

My recollection is fuzzy because it’s been about 22 years since I’ve eaten an animal. One day I just stopped. I don’t recall the last animal I ate. I can’t say why I made the decision. I didn’t read something that changed my mind. I had never met a vegetarian in my life. It wasn’t for animal rights (that came full force two years later). I wasn’t informed about the cruelty of factory farming. It wasn’t for the environment. This was the 80s—no one cared. And it wasn’t for my health. Back then people actually thought eating animal protein was necessary and nutritious.

If I had to put my finger on it, looking back, I think the answer as to why I stopped eating animals was for my spiritual growth. I believe it was my Higher Self nudging me that I could do better. That I could grow more. How can I know love if I am consuming the energy of fear and terror? How can I know peace if I am choosing to partake in cruelty and violence? How can I help the world to heal if I am complicit in its dark ways? These weren’t conscious thoughts then, but they’re conscious now.

I was a strict vegetarian for 17 years--no milk, eggs or ice cream by themselves--but if a cookie had an egg in it, I'd eat it. If I couldn't see it, I pretended it wasn't there. I did eat my fair share of cheese though. Then, about three years ago, I became vegan. I could no longer justify it. I had run out of the lies I had been telling myself. I was still participating in as much cruelty, if not more, by consuming milk or eggs as if I had eaten the cow or the chicken.

What was difficult was not giving up the cookies with dairy in them, what was harder was to stop purchasing leather shoes and bags and pretty wool sweaters. But like quitting anything, the withdrawal is intense and over fairly quickly, and then something beautiful happens. It makes room for a new perception. Looking back, I can't believe I spent my hard earned money on those things.

It was hands-down the best decision I ever made. For my body, being vegan keeps me naturally thin and healthy. I never worry about weight or what to eat. For my mind, I see things more clearly. For my spirit, I feel unity and peace. For the world, I am not contributing to the greatest source of pollution and devastation. For the animals, well, in my small way, I am helping to create a world in which one day we will come to a collective awareness that all living beings deserve loving kindness. I do believe that none of us are truly free until every last one of us is free.

Cynthia Morgan, Los Angeles, CA

my favorite vegan things:

Kiss My Face Olive Oil Soap

Chamomile And Green Tea Eye Makeup Remover

Mike White (Writer/Director/Producer/Actor)

Chocolate-Chocolate-Chip Cookie Recipe (Veganomicon Cookbook)

Chicken Run Ranch Burger With Sweet Potato Fries @ Native Foods (Restaurant, CA locations)